Jazz Jackrabbit 2 Online

==================Simple Review==================
Base Score: 5/10

Point Bonuses: +4
[+4] You know what? I’m shooting myself in the foot here, but I sincerely think this song deserves full marks. Or close to it… It is absolutely beautiful and delivers exactly what it promises; a funk remix of “Labrat”. If it wasn’t for that part around 2:09 that sounds exactly like the source material, this could easily be given +5 points…

Point Deductions: -0
[-0] No deductions. None. Whatsoever.

Final Score: 9/10
=================Extended Review=================
Introduction:
A complete retooling of “Labrat” from Jazz Jackrabbit 2, done in a seemingly trendy “funk” style. Does it hold a candle to fearofdark’s other works, or will we be left just blowing in the wind? Let’s boogie!

Song Analysis:
As mentioned, this is a complete retooling of “Labrat” from Jazz Jackrabbit 2. While not quite as funky as fod’s “Dark Groove Funk” or “Hell Freezes Over Funk,” it still has that wonderful funky vibe I’ve come to expect from these kinds of arrangements. Unfortunately, this particular piece of music seems to borrow a little more heavily from the original piece of music than “Hell Freezes Over”. As such, a lot of patterns (particlarly the patterns around 2:09.5) sound pretty much note-for-note, aside from the added drums.

Features/Sample Analysis:
More beautiful guitar samples with some equally awesome drums and synths mixed in. Everything is clear as a bell with no real grain to it. What more can I say?

Final Analysis:
Aw, fod… I’d say “you let me down,” but honestly, despite the fact it’s quite a bit too similar to the original Labrat, you really haven’t. I really, really like this piece! I just kind of wish you’d done something a little more funky with that “awe” area around 2:09.5…

Recommendation?:
HECK. YES.
========================================================
Your friendly neighborhood S3M/MIDI artist, Joseph “Doc Lithius” Collins

After taking a peek under the hoods of both files, I’ve come to this single, solitary conclusion:
The only thing that has been changed is certain aspects of Stereo Seperation and the notes of Pattern 7 have been shifted to channels 5 through 8. Also, Pattern 7 has been looped once.

In short, this is not even an edit. Switching channels does next to nothing, especially if you use similar(if not the same) channel panning.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene… Joseph Collins
“Doc Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

DanYjel:
“CowBell”? That should totally be my new Jazz Jackrabbit 2 online username! Or maybe not! I dunno.

Anyway… I appreciate your unique insights to my music, DanYjel. Thank you! However, some bits of it confuse me. For example, is 300 Kilobytes really that weighty? I would think 300 Kilobytes would be a pretty nice size for your average Jazz Jackrabbit music, especially if it were to be converted and used in a stage or something. Goodness knows, some of these mammoth-sized files wouldn’t be very conventional to use in Jazz 2 stages. While one or two Megabytes might not seem like much all and all, it does take a lot longer for our Dial-Up friends to download.
Another thing that confuses me is that you mention around 3:38, there’s a “totally different beat”. Well, said beat is actually the exact same beat(and patterns) from around 1:42.5. The most major change-up occurs around 2:59.75 where the bassline changes entirely and part of the main “echoing foreground” disappears, sounding like it does around the beginning of the song. Though after 4:04, it leads into a very long fade-out. Is that what you’re referring to?

80s electronica wasn’t really what I had in mind when I made this music. I was trying to go more for an “electronica/rave” style, honestly. But now that you mention it, there is a bit of the 80s in this piece! Good ear! But what does “getting this from your head” mean? Do you mean it will get stuck in your head? If so, that’s very nice of you to say! Thanks!
Another thing that confuses me is how you seem to say that you like it in one instance, but in another instance, you don’t. If you could be a little more clear in describing what you do and don’t like about this song, that would be very appreciated.

Lastly, I have to ask this. If you don’t like this genre of music — which is roughly the same genre that artists like yourself and Luigi E. excel at — then why did you call it an “awesome tune, really”? And I notice you bring up the compartitively miniscule file size once more in your overall score. As a critic myself, I understand that sometimes, you have to look at something from all sides, but it seems like you let personal tastes get in the way of an otherwise decent review. It’s nice to know the score deserves an 8.0 aside from the fact you seem to have a sincere dislike for electronica and the 80s in general…

Thank you for taking the time to review my piece of music and I hope to hear from you in my next project! And before I forget, I absolutely love your new review format! It’s much more organized than your old system of (+) and (-). Though, I’m gonna miss that system… Oh well. Such is the price of progress, I suppose.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene… Joseph Collins
“Doc Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

This isn’t as bad as DanYjel said it was, actually :P Kind of disco-ish. A little wierd.

Overall: New and interesting.

[Inappropiate rating (8.2) removal. No sufficient reasoning was given for this rating. – FQuist]

Well, I gave it a try anyway….

EDIT: I included the IT version in this file: THAT is the version you should listen to.

zomg, i call this edit… wowowow, the best remix of this spring!!!

—-

There’s almost NOTHING changed, you have to have OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG cool ears to hear the difference… It’s the same as the original, sorry. The only new thing is Flanger effect used at the end of the song, ehm

To Crimi: Re-arrangation is what we make, which this is not. Really, this is edit, trust him ;)

Introduction:
Suppah, new CowBell’s music… I’ve been looking forward for it from yesterday, so thanks a lot, CowBell! You probably read my mind. Well… the tune has almost 300 KB so OMG, isn’t it too much? Find it out!

Song Analysis:
All the sections of the song are from original “Crysilis”, author apparentely didn’t take lot of work with this. But it has nice at-one-note edit, it rocks, I just love it!!!
And then around 3:38, things get totally different beat. Why? I don’t know.
Going back for a moment, the beginning of this song reminds me of some 80s electronic music. Soft beats which kill ears after 20 seconds of listening… Actually, you’ll have problems with getting this from your head.

I’ll not lie, the beat is bad. But it has nice transitions, really. I also like the bass and background, it gives song even better feeling…

Sample Analysis:
The biggest problem of the song. Lead sample sounds like something between string and beat, I don’t really like it.

Final Analysis:
If I will not mention the samples, it’s awesome tune, really, but OMG it has 300 KB and I don’t like the genre, sorry :(

Score: 8.0
“Wrong genre” Points: -4
“300 KB” Points: -2
“Man, 80s are bad!!!” -1
Total Score: 1.0

Recommendation?:
Hmm… It’s great tune but it’s not my genre so… No.

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The “DanYjel” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene… DanYjel
“DanYjel” or “DanYjel” on Jazz 2

I hope this review will be respected and accepted in totally same way as Collin’s one. Thanks a lot.

2Cooba: Why? You agreed with that people can give bad rating just because of wrong genre so what? Why it

was okay yesterday, but it’s a problem today? I am interested, really.

2CowBell: No problem, man! I’m looking forward for your music very much!!!!

—-

Ok, let’s stop kidding, now review with real reasoning. The song itself sounds very… off-key, time by time it’s plain loudness and the sample lead sample really suck (see above). It’s annoying repetitive, the length should be like 3:00 minutes and it could be okay.

Also, nothing new, except for the one tone melody, added.
To be honest, this is the worst tune by you, Collins…

Rating: 4

You should really upload them separately… belgas or whatever lowers the rating 100 %

Danyjel: Funny you be hippocritical yet again. You’re not going to change your genre, yet you expect others to. In your review of Aegis’ metal cover of Sluggion you said to replace the bass with an Electric Flute.

I don’t know how things are in A-hole land, but around here ELECTRIC FLUTE IS NOT METAL.

Reviewing time!

First of all, I didn’t like the slow start. It took about a minute and a half before the actual song began, which is something I don’t like. After listening to the same part over and over with a little drum variation each time, you get to the actual Beach Melody, which is nicely done with those Carribean steeldrums. The melody makes you wanna dance, as it’s supposed to. Nicely done, overall, untill I came to that… ‘interesting’ part in the middle. Although it was a bit too complicated to be “Farmboy’s Hardcore”, it came close. The beat is kicked in as if it was a special weapon trying to demolish everything in the nearby surroundings. Eventually, the horror stops, leaving us with the original melody. It slowly builds down and the outro is just as slow and the intro. Not my style.

Nonetheless, I have promised to give this a review, and so I will. Not my taste, not worth my time. I’m very sorry, guys, but this is just one piece of music from you that I don’t like.

Score:
6.5

Download Recommendation:
N/A

A very good level…… but it’s dangerous

Download Recommended

Rating:9

(the rating 1.5 earased due to the place we can go only with coins and not a bonus.)

Saying that people suck because they have a different music taste than the author? What has the sociality degenerated into :(

The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online’s Music Scene – zomg lol and rofl and many more… Did you make more than 2 songs for j2o? I don’t think so… I’m on DanYjel’s side: Dany, you’re right!!!

Thanks for review, LF and ratboy. (PA)

“Decent work” – giving a bad rating just because having different taste music than the author? What has the sociality…
(Personal attack removal, or some such, I lost track of the acronyms a while back. ~Violet)

N00b, that review gave me nothing, I will not change my genre just becaus Cowbell hates it… Understand?

kurwa n00b, what is electric flute?

Note:This review co-written by fearofdark.(Not really.)

Introduction:
“Its just exoticus with all the samples changes and sped up”
It sure is!

Song Analysis:
“Its just exoticus with all the samples changes and sped up”
That it is. That it is… Nothing at all has been changed as far as the notes played.

Sample Analysis:
“Its just exoticus with all the samples changes and sped up”
Yes, I think we get it by now. It’s—

“Its just exoticus with all the samples changes and sped up”
Right, fine. But—

“Its just exoticus with all the—”
Shaddap!! [huff, huff] [ahem]
The samples are from other Jazz songs. They sound fine. There’s nothing much else to say here.

Final Analysis:
Well, all and all, I’d have to say that this song is kind of boring whatnot. fod? What do you have to say?
“Its just exoticus with all the samples changes and sped up”
And with that, we’re out.

Score: 5.0
”Its just exoticus with all the samples changes and sped up” Points: -3.0
Total Score: 2.0

Recommendation?:
“Its just exoticus with all the samples changes and sped up”
If, just in case you haven’t figured it out by now… But hey, if that’s your bag, then by all means.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene… Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

[Rating (2) clearance. Reviews such as this are unacceptable. You are supposed to write a review, not quote it and add “i agree k”. Do not do this again. ~Cooba]

Yay! Pollutus!!

Introduction:
What do you think of when you think about Jazz Jackrabbit for the GBA? Is it fun gameplay? A good story? Or maybe awesomely awesome music? What’s that? None of the above?! Well… Maybe this will change your mind about its music. Then again, maybe it won’t.

Song Analysis:
IT’S…TOO…LOUD!! Dear lord, man! Towards the middle and end, it actually starts to crackle and buzz because you cranked it up so loud!
Anyhoo… If there was one thing I could say about this track outright, is that this really…brings the tainted atmosphere and polluted areas of Pollutus to life. While the GBA track was kind of lightweight and only just barely fitting to the area, this track is dark, deep, and I dare say even cold and metallic. Just like it should be.
The lyrics in the start don’t really add much, but they don’t take away anything, either. I can’t tell what they’re saying, but I don’t think it matters much either way.

Sample Analysis:
Like I said, areas of the song are a little too loud, but that’s probably more your fault(if you amplified it) than the sample, which sound good seperate, and terrific together.

Final Analysis:
All and all, this hollow and ambient piece of music makes Pollutus seem far, far more deadly and all the more ominous than its original GBA predecessor. I can only hope more GBA remixes and arrangements like this come out.

Score: 7.2
“I Can Do Basic Math!” Points: 0.3
Total Score: 7.5

Recommendation?:
Absolutely. Especially if you didn’t like the original Jazz Jackrabbit GBA soundtrack. This will definately make you think twice.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene… Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Dude. Use, like… I dunno. Anything else but RapidShare. I think even YouSendIt might be a better idea. Anyway…

Introduction:
Is bigger truly better? Does size matter? Can a 6MB file that’s 6.5 minutes long be all that it can be before 6AM, or will it have to be eighty-sixed with a six-shooter then deep-sixed in six seperate lakes? What does that even mean?! Read on…

Song Analysis:
What the Heck is this? This doesn’t seem to sound anything like any Jazz Jackrabbit song I’ve ever heard. Yes, the unused Menu Theme loop is in there, but for the most part, this is just generic dance music. Not even good dance music at that. Where’s the meat? It’s all drums and bassline. That’s boring. It needs lyrics.

Sample Analysis:
All the samples sound just fine to me. Just some general dance samples, drums, “pops,” synths, and basslines.

Final Analysis:
This…isn’t Jazz Jackrabbit, no matter how many samples you put into it. I think everyone’s just too polite(or otherwise) to point this fact out. As such, I’m not going to rate it. If I were to rate it, however, I’d probably give it a 4.7 due to the fact it’s so bland. Like unseasoned ground beef.

Score: N/A(Not a Jazz File)
”?!” Points: N/A(Not a Jazz File)
Total Score: N/A(Not a Jazz File)

Recommendation?:
No. Plain and simple.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene… Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Introduction:
Weighing in at an astonishing and highly unnecessary 10MB, is this 7.5 minute goliath truly worth the time it took to collaborate? Find out…now!

Song Analysis:
Some sections of the song sound like “Beach Bunny!,” such as the third section around 3:24. Some sections sound original. Some other sections take from other Jazz Jackrabbit songs, such as “Diamondus”.
And then around 5:28, things really speed up to about 2.5 the song’s normal speed. Why? I don’t know. It doesn’t add a thing to the song.
Going back for a moment, the beginning of this song reminds me of some 80s music. Specifically “Rhythm of the Night” by Debarge. Kind’a fun memorabilia there, actually. Whether it was intentional or not, I’ll probably never know, but it sounds fairly good and helps make this song a bit of a walk away from being “Beach Bunny! Arranged”.
Unfortunately, that seems to be all this song really has going for it, other than the beat breakdowns which seperate the few sections of the song quite nicely.

Sample Analysis:
The original “Beach Bunny!” samples with some generic “dance drums” thrown in to give this mammoth some moves.

Final Analysis:
Well, I don’t know how long this seven-and-a-half piece of work took to make, but it sounds like some decent work went into it. Still, it’s pretty average, far larger than it needs to be(C’mon! Even Modules are only Internet MP3 quality! Was 192Kbps really necessary?), and druges on a bit, despite the attempts to keep it fresh all throughout.

Score: 4.8
“Man, I Feel Old Now” Points: -0.3
Total Score: 4.5

Recommendation?:
It’s kind of groovy, but listening to it more than once might not be a good idea. So…no.

Edit:
My math skills need work. Scoring fixed.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene… Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Introduction:
Can the Bonus Track and Tubelectric from Jazz Jackrabbit co-exist in harmony?! Well, you’re asking in the wrong song. Find out why in this review.

Song Analysis:
The standard Jazz “Bonus” tune with a couple samples from Tubelectric. Nothing new has been added, but parts of the song have been rearranged.

Sample Analysis:
This is JJS. All Jazz Jackrabbit samples…all the time. It seems to be the bread-and-butter of aspiring Jazz musicians. So…no real comments here.

Final Analysis:
Ya can’t blame a guy for trying, I don’t guess. It’s not a bad song by any rights, but it may as well be an original Jazz Jackrabbit MOD file. By copying and pasting Patterns from either song as well as swapping and mixing samples from both, this song was born. And boring. But at least it’s not as bad as some of the things I’ve reviewed. But all and all, it’s nothing special.

Score: 5.0
“Creativity(or Lack There-Of)” Points: -1.5
Total Score: 3.5

Recommendation?:
Sure. Why not? Everyone loves Jazz Jackrabbit‘s original soundtrack.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene… Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Introduction:
Now this is an extremely funky rendition of “Hell Freezes Over” which sounds as though it has bits of “Jazz Be [Darned]” thrown in for good measure. So let’s measure how good…or bad this is.

Song Analysis:
As far as I can tell, this sounds like what you’d get if you merged Jazz and Funk.(…no, I don’t mean “Junk”.) In fact, it reminds me quite heavily of “Awakening Road” from the “Rockman X Arranged” soundtrack.(Which was basically Rockman X music jazzified.) The song itself seems like it has bits and pieces of “Jazz Be [Darned]” thrown in just for kicks. Either that, or I need to listen to “Hell Freezes Over” more closely.
The arrangement is more or less recognizable, but I sincerely doubt it could sound any better than it does even if it relied more heavily on the original track for its notes and whatnot.

Sample Analysis:
There’s no dirty samples here whatsoever. Lots of awesome guitars of varying types(which I might swipe later [shifty eyes]) and some really nice drum samples as well. Everything sounds terrific together and not a single note sounds out of whack or out of tune.

Final Analysis:
All and all, it’s a damned fine track that any Jazz(or Jazz) lover would appreciate fully. There are so many good things I could be saying about this, but words fail me. Utterly. There is no reason not to give this piece full marks. At all. It fades in wonderfully, loops perfectly, and is absolutely great to listen to. I’m not entirely sure it would work as level music, but I can’t see why not. This is definately going on my MP3 player next time I shift things around.

Score: 9.0
“I Can’t Think of Any Reason Not to Give This a 10.0” Points: 1.0
Total Score: 10.0

Recommendation?:
Yea, verily. Download this and listen to it if you haven’t yet. You will totally not regret it.

Notice of Mention:
Congratulations on getting the very first 10 I’ve ever given out! The sad thing is now I’m going to expect this kind of quality from you with everything you make. XD

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene… Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2